Management — 03 November 2009
The buzz phrase generator – Become an instant expert

We live in an age where anyone can be a guru – just because they say they are.

“Hey, look at me – I have been doing this for 2 years and I can now do it with no stabilisers (training wheels? if you are in the US) – Aren’t I great?”

And using long words and phrases just reinforces this point.

(Audience think – “There is a long phrase there which I don’t quite understand so this guy must be clever because

1. He says he is and

2. I don’t understand what he is saying).

But is it a case of the emperor’s new clothes?

For those who don’t know – The emperor’s new clothes is a fairy story whereby the emperor commissioned a series of clothes to be made. The crooked tailors, took the money and gave him nothing in return, saying that anyone who truly believed the clothes were made of gold would indeed see gold, and those who didn’t believe would think the emperor was wearing nothing at all.

Of course, there were no clothes – the tailors had just taken the money – But no one dared tell the emperor this and he paraded through the streets in the buff until a small boy shouted out that it was all a big con.

So what’s all this got to do with buzz phrases?

Well, if you fancy yourself as a guru but don’t know where to start, just consult the table below. Take one word from each column, first, second and third and there you are, instant expert.

Column 1 Column 2 Column 3
Integrated management options
Overall organisational flexibility
Systematised monitored capability
Parallel reciprocal mobility
Functional digital programming
Responsive logistical concept
Optimal transitional time-phase
Synchronised incremental projection
Compatible third generation hardware
Balanced policy contingency

“Balanced management options anyone”?

karate 1 The buzz phrase generator   Become an instant expertGet a Super NINJA LinkedIn profile. FREE Online Training course. Just jump over to

karateGet a Super NINJA LinkedIn profile. FREE Online Training course. Just jump over to

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(11) Readers Comments

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  5. Just 2 years and you get to claim expert? Wish I had known that about 20 years ago. From your table, I’m claiming – Overall Organizational Capability. I think that does it – makes me an overall expert.

    Thanks for the fun post Jonathan.

  6. Ooh can I be systematised management options lol, mind you I’ve no idea what it means but I’ve been doing it for two years now! Great blog post’

  7. ParallelTransitional Capability. PTC . Yep I have that!. Ever since I was a young kid I was wondering what is it that I have. Now I know! PTC I am the Guru on PTC.

    Great fun this is!

    • Jos – I think parallel transitional capability (for males) is to make a cup of tea and beans on toast ready at the same time aka multitasking.

      • LOL! Jon – You missed something out of the ‘Parallel, transitional, capability’ skill-set – washing up after you’ve made the kitchen look like a bombsite! LOL!

        Re: Super Ninja #LinkedIn Profile – Brilliant Concept ! I see 100′s of people who need your help every day in my line of work!

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        • Rhianne – How you doing ? Long time no speaky.

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          Oh and Happy New year

  8. Can I be Overall Organisational Concept please.

    Great post Jon :-)

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